Nana Carol's thoughts while she flies to Kansas

Sunday evening at around 9:00 pm on 10/18/09

Kathy, Wil and I wanted to support Delilah in the hour of her mother's death. Her mom's death was preceded by Delilah's father and two brothers.

I was packing my bags for a 2 am departure to Midway airport when I got a call from Rusty saying they had been called into the hospital because Olive was losing her pulse. They hurried in and were quite sure they were in her last few hours, so they called us to let us know.

After Lynette and Rusty held her for around 6 hours, she rallied. For the first 3 hours her pulse was erratic, dipping down to 0 and back up. And then after many hours of up and down, she stabilized.

I called them around 2:00AM (Indiana time) and nothing had changed. I called again at 5:50AM and Lynette was trying to rest in the nurse's lounge, across the hall from the ICU. They had decided to stay up all night with her. They wanted to be with her when she passed from this life to the next. Stacia was planning on leaving for home in several hours. I checked online in the air and discovered that Stacia had decided to delay her ticket for 24 hours, knowing these were crucial moments. Colleen had extended her stay for another week and a half longer.

I called again at 9:30 AM from the Atlanta airport, and Rusty reported that the day had been full of tears and waiting to see whether Olive was ready to return to her Maker. I asked Rusty whether they had released her, or whether she hears their voices and skin touch and feels bad about leaving them. He assured me they had released her into God's hands, feeling that she was miserable as her head continued to expand day by day. But they continued to show her love, and somehow Olive enjoyed their warmth and touch. They had gone to sleep and were awakened again when Stacia and Colleen felt Olive was leaving this life.

The day was full of a wide range of emotion. I sensed in my spirit between 8 and 9 o'clock that she was leaving. Tears came and I prayed, "Gentle Shepherd, come and lead them, for they need you to help them find their way. There's no other they can turn to as they turn to face another day. Gentle Shepherd come and lead them for they need you to help them find their way." I had read the difficulties Paul faced in II Corinthians.

I sense that this trip is more than a bereavement trip for Delilah. It may well be a much needed trip for Melody and I to bond. I haven't seen her since July. She is just now in her 7th month of pregnancy. She too is looking forward to a little baby and this experience with Lynette in Thailand has been extremely hard on her. They were planning on bringing their babies home to Grandma's in Indiana next summer and spend time together.

Yes, I believe that when Olive goes to be with Jesus, she will leave a big hole in their hearts that will be missed. She softened all of the hearts of the people who touched her as well as people who kept up with her all over the world and prayed for Rusty and Lynette. The story doesn't end with the passing of Olive to be with Jesus. The story goes on in the hearts of the people who were touched in that Public Government Thai Hospital. The couple who went back to Laos empty handed. Ning who lost her baby on the way to heart surgery in Chaing Mai. Baby Oliver, the little preemie beside Olive's bed, who the nurses snuck Lynette's plentiful supply of milk to. And whose milk the nurses labeled as Oliver's mom's milk, who was too poor to be at the hospital with Oliver. A baby who may be there another 2 months. What will become of him when Lynette no longer has milk to give him. And then their was Nuay's baby who we watched come in with severe Jaundice who received 30 transfusions of blood and needed more and Stacia gave her blood to him. And what about Olive's Dr whom we grew to love, because she was so clinical and her diagnosis and prognosis matched that of our respected American doctors. And the kind Thai nurses who were so gentle to Olive and so kind and let us break their ICU rules and be with Olive 24/7 when the rule says three 30 minute visits a day. I will never forget all the hurting sick children in the pediatric ward with their mothers in bed with them, helping to care for them. And the older people our age in the outdoor halls with IV's and bedpans for the whole world to see as they entered the hospital. I won't forget the remodeling, sawing, tiling, painting going on right next to hospital beds with sick people.

I will also never forget the "community" of friends who came and sat at the Hospital waiting room for hours, sitting and listening. Trish and Icuya, Ghan (interpreting on some days), Lynette's Thai Teacher. Lynette's friend who went to the Buddhist temple every day to pray for Olive, who thought maybe she should turn to Lynette's God. Lynette's Thai friend, who interpreted, who ate with us, ordered a meal for us, made food for us at her house, and went with us to the night market for an hour.

And Bethany Showalter, who came for vacation to be with Lynette, in Rusty's absence, and ended up serving us with Libby day by day.

And then Libby Andersen, who definitely gets the medal of honor in Norm and my opinion. She was with Lynette in Rusty's absence, helped her through the Labor, took her turn staying with Olive, and nurtured our food needs over and over again. She was also my "angel" for Lynette to care for her in our absence and to make sure Lynette recovers well when we leave.

And Rusty, we will never forget that first desperate call and the uncertainty of leaving and his passionate love for little Olive. And most of all for the way Lynette and Rusty ministered to other hurting parents in the middle of their own pain.

In the middle of chaos, there is so much beauty in the Thai culture. They are a gentle, respectful people, mostly Buddhist. The Thai people bow in their greetings. The Akha Christian people hug and shake hands, probably a culture brought to them by the first Austrailian and European missionaries that brought them the news of salvation.

I was impressed how many of the preemies were babies of the Akha tribal people from the mountains, and Laos. I began to wonder if their was a connection to the high altitude or the hard work the Akha women do. So, we have lots of questions and very few answers as we face another day and we wait......wait to meet Olive Hope in heaven with the one who made her and completed her mission on earth. I am more convinced than ever that God truly has a "mission" for every child he gives life to. Even as He sent His son (Jesus) to earth with a mission as a small helpless infant, he brings other babies to soften our hearts.

It is too bad that it takes a helpless infant to soften and oil our hardened hearts. For years I have been interested in "healing" through natural means. I have also seen how far we have come with modern medicine. We can save lives, and sometimes as the Thai Dr said, as we use modern technology we bring about many handicaps. 50 years ago, Olive would not have been whisked away to a Neonatal ICU and given heroic modern technology. So, we are very grateful to modern technology, but we also want to give room for "Miracle Healing" without modern technology. Many times God may choose to heal, and if he does, it will not accompany all the myriads of complications that can happen with modern science.

We choose to believe that God knows what is best for Olive Hope Polinder, and as she lingers, God still has a chance to miraculously heal, and for all we know, God may be waiting on his people to be unified in their prayer for Olive. So they wait, Rusty and Lynette "surrendered" and at peace to what God wants to do next in Olive's life.

Nana Carol